Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(801): View more from Utah

My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv

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(913): View more from Kansas

You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory

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(925): View more from California

Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?

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(410): View more from Maryland

260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(512): View more from Texas

We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"

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(314): View more from Missouri

If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.

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(585): View more from New York

You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.

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(616): View more from Michigan

He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.

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