your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.