Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
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I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
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Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public