No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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