I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I had to cum in my sink.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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