Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.

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  (516): There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office. http://tfl.nu/aczu
  Replies (16) Good night (3632) Bad night (539) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth

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  (619): I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth http://tfl.nu/3dui
  Replies (15) Good night (2715) Bad night (2274) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.

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  (540): I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it. http://tfl.nu/dv65
  Replies (45) Good night (10838) Bad night (2468)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook

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  (508): i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook http://tfl.nu/ft2u
  Replies (36) Good night (10166) Bad night (774) Order T-Shirt
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  (646): View more from New York

  i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation

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  (646): i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation http://tfl.nu/0879
  Replies (14) Good night (1675) Bad night (4800) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?

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  (615): is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....? http://tfl.nu/4au4
  Replies (13) Good night (3219) Bad night (992) Order T-Shirt
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...

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  (785): It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night... http://tfl.nu/p0ds
  Replies (25) Good night (2324) Bad night (4371) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am

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  (781): It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am http://tfl.nu/v6r1
  Replies (19) Good night (3207) Bad night (1620) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.

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  (315): The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk. http://tfl.nu/v27u
  Replies (3) Good night (2707) Bad night (727) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch

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  (609): I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch http://tfl.nu/jghc
  Replies (7) Good night (2387) Bad night (606) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.

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  (803): I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver. http://tfl.nu/862b
  Replies (1) Good night (1453) Bad night (494) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.

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  (651): Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult. http://tfl.nu/x3id
  Replies (1) Good night (1489) Bad night (545) Order T-Shirt
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"

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  (204): So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you" http://tfl.nu/y1sq
  Replies (6) Good night (602) Bad night (2562) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.

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  (818): The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it. http://tfl.nu/rmr6
  Replies (6) Good night (378) Bad night (1360) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.

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  (714): I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks. http://tfl.nu/v5vh
  Replies (4) Good night (294) Bad night (170) Order T-Shirt

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