"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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