hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis