Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
