he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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