I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
