Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
