PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
