Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
