are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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