Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
