So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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