I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
