i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
