i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
