I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i think my tv is drunk
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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