just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
