Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you didnt know i had herpes?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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