We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
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