I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
