hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
