another moral hangover. fuck.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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