bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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