is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
