so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
