The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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