Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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