discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Ketchup is God's man juice
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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