I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
what is it with giant penises always finding me
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
