Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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