5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I just blew my weed a kiss
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
