next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
