oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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