i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pray to the hookup gods
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize