When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
