the condom got lost in my hair
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize