If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Randomize
