My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...