Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
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Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
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You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.