his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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