Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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