he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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