you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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