Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
