I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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