Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
