we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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