I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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