wanna go halves on a baby?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
he had hair everywhere except his balls
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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