Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
