i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
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