You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
