he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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