whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Randomize
