Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
