problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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