so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
