He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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