Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
