Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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