I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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