Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
