yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
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