he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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