pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
