We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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