I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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