how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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