he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
