Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i just had sex bonerless
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
